First off, I want to thank each and every one of you who reached out to me in the last few weeks, gave me love, shared stories of loss, or simply asked me if I was doing okay. You have no idea how much your support has meant to me. You brought light into my life when I needed it the most.❤️
To answer your questions: I'm okay! I'm doing much better than I was a few weeks ago.
(For those who don't know: I suffered a miscarriage followed by a D&C. I didn't post about it on here. But I briefly talked about it on my Instagram account.) Thankfully, I've been very busy at work. Which I'm grateful for because it has helped keep my mind off things. And not entirely intentionally, I ended up taking a few weeks off my blog and IG. Without making it sound overly dramatic, every small step that I've taken has felt like a victory. The first two weeks after my MC my only goal was to get out of bed every morning and go to work. That's it. I was incredibly sad and overwhelmed with everything. So, facing the world every day even though I felt like a zombie inside seemed like a gargantuan task. The fluctuating hormones definitely didn't help either.
I spent those first couple of weeks as a useless lump on the couch, completely enveloped in grief. John, my husband, went into superhero mode and somehow kept life chugging along for the both of us. I truly believe that if it wasn't for him, our families, our incredibly thoughtful friends and neighbors, and my understanding boss and co-workers, I would probably still be in that place.
The last couple of weeks have been better and I have felt like I've been getting closer to a version of me that existed before all of this. I haven't really done anything more than going to work and running a few errands here and there. But I am able to feel happiness again. I am laughing again. I've stopped crying every time I think about it. This week I even got back to my normal gym routine, which was a huge step for me. I missed all my friends and missed feeling strong.
Time, love, and being given the space to just BE has tremendously helped. Four weeks ago I truly thought that I would never feel normal again. But every day I feel more and more like myself. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm grateful for where I am today compared to then. John and I are even planning a trip to get away from it all for a few days. And after feeling like the bottom completely fell out from under us, it's nice to be able to look forward to something happy and tangible in the near future.
So, thank you thank you thank you for all of your love and positive energy. And thank you for hanging around here even though posting has been sparse. I have a number of things planned for the blog.
So there's lots to look forward to!
Wishing you infinite amounts of happiness